dear god in heaven...

where have i BEEN? wow. busy, and without the internet are, i suppose, the easiest and most complete answers. here's the deal, people: i'm a procrastinator. i can't keep a journal to save my life. so! an experiment. let's see if i can commit to post at least once a week for... three months. can i make it? we shall see!!

now. it's 1:39 AM, i have finch screaming on my ipod, and i'm sitting in a room with the lights turned down low, the computer screen's light undoubtedly washing my face out completely. :P

since the last time i posted, a hell of a lot has happened, y'all. i quit one job and started another, FINALLY met a guy who may actually be decent and not an asshole, set some doable weight loss goals for myself, and have - finally - started working on an album project that i've titled "letters to rockwell." so far, i've written two tracks and have the title track poking me in the brain even as i am typing this. once this is posted, i'll start writing it.

(in case i didn't talk about it before, i'm a singer/songwriter. i play guitar, piano, and djembe - which is a kind of african hand drum - and have a decent singing voice. i'm not lea michelle or anything, but i can sing.)

anyway. the album project came about because of a rather long story that i shall try to make short and post here.

see, i recently fell in love. i'd only ever done that once before, and i said i'd never do it again. ha. anyway, he is an enigma of a boy; one minute he's telling me we have great chemistry and that he loves talking to me and the next he's going on and on about his new girlfriend. in short, the boy is an idiot. so i wrote a song, titled shadows of love, that basically ripped him a new one. the bridge of the song, if this tells you anything, is "you're standing in the shadow of the man you'll never be." i sent him the lyrics because we swap lyrics all the time - he's a lyricist and i'm putting music to his lyrics - and he actually asked me point-blank if the song was about him. i didn't want to make him feel like an idiot, so i said that it was about all the boys that ever made me feel that way. (which is technically true.)

so, the album is a series of songs to tell a story - mine, to be specific. when it's finished, my adoring fans *sarcasm, sarcasm* may get demos. we'll see if i ever get to that stage with these songs.

all right, that's it. i'm tired and hungry, starting to get grumpy, and talking about this has me all depressed. :P

so... good night. or morning. whatever. good whatever. (that works.) :D